This is What You Were Born For

Fierce Photography, Photography, The Artist Life

Have you ever felt like you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing in life? I have been reflecting on my experience second shooting throughout the past week. Collectively, I worked for about 20 hours. I am thinking that I shot for at least half of that, perhaps even three-fourths of the time. It was amazing. As I said in an earlier post it was an adrenaline rush. In light of that experience, I have been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up and I always go back to the fact that when I was a kid I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to sing and be a musician but I would never actually say I wanted to be a singer or musician; I always said I wanted to be a performer. In hindsight, I find my choice of words interesting. It is as if I knew, unbeknownst to me at the time, that I did not truly want to be a singer, all I really wanted was a stage. I adore performing. I have always loved the stage and looking back this past week I know I have found the stage I have been looking for; the photographer I was shooting for even says that being a photographer is performing. That’s ironic and incredible.

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I love feeling alive. I love feeling intelligent, productive, and creative. Pursuing photography makes me feel all of that. Being a photographer makes me feel all of that. I really think that doing photography is what I was born to do. Have you ever felt this? The only other time I have felt like “this is what I was born to do” was when I was giving my daughter a bath, she was 2 or 3 months at the time and I felt so happy about my baby, I remember thinking specifically “this is what I was made to do” which is different from “born to do.” That was a different feeling though because it was calming and relaxing.  It was from a place of contentment whereas I would say my passion for photography is from a place of ambition. Motherhood has never challenged me. I love being a mom but I feel like it’s normal for moms to be freaked out, self-conscious, and unsure of what they’re doing. I’ve never felt that way. I have felt tired from being a mom but never like this is pushing  me past my limits or out of my comfort zone. Photography pushes me. Being a mom feels like a big hug around my heart whereas photography feels like an adrenaline shot to the heart! I’m addicted to learning and I love learning about photography and I especially love learning that I have found what I was born to do. How fierce is that?

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Fiercely,

alexandria

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