Monotony

Florida life is beautiful. It’s December right now and yet it feels like summer. I am seriously considering going to the beach today simply because I could. This might seem silly to someone who’s lived near the beach or vacationed on a beach frequently but for me, having grown up and lived in a landlocked state my entire life, the ability to visit the beach on a random warm day is quite a feat. 

Currently, I am blessed and cursed with the luxury of endless time on my hands. Since I turned 16 I have always worked at least part time to more often full time or 40 hours+ a week. When I worked regularly I would fantasize about a time when I would have ‘time’ to pursue art to my hearts content and yet now here I am with endless time and I feel more unproductive than ever. There is a myth or lie that our culture teaches: busyness = productive. Of course, just because you are busy does not mean that you are being productive or successful. I heard someone say that Samsung is really busy, but Apple owns 90% of the smartphone market with iPhones. I’m not busy at the moment because I just moved to a new city, therefore I don’t really have any connections or obligations. I’m not working, although I will definitely say that watching my 16 month old is a full time job. With that said, I don’t remember ever aspiring to being a stay at home mom, yet I essentially am one. My life can be summed up in one word: Monotony.

My desire is to create something, something great. Yet, I find myself immobilized and trapped by daily life with an infant/toddler. It’s hard to accomplish anything when the only time you really have to give something your full focus is the 2 hours when she’s napping. My head was spinning with an idea for a book but I barely accomplish the little blogging that I do so I don’t know how I would ever time for a book. Then, I have an idea for songs that I would love to compose on my guitar but it’s hard to play the guitar when you want your child to be sleeping. Plus, I feel a desperate need for a piano to help chord. I desire to paint but I would have to finish painting before the paint dries out…I love art, and I desire to do art and I don’t have anything draining on my time besides my one sweet child so why haven’t I created anything? I’m not sure if this post is more of a lament or more of a desperate command at myself to do the things that I want to do. Just do it.

Not feeling so fierce so I am telling myself my mantra, “be fierce”

(un) fiercely,

alexandria

Creative Process

Creativity is not a bolt of lightning or unexplainable luck. most successful artist have a process that they return to so that they can produce striking work.”

Last fall, I discovered the above quote by Lindsey Adler. I had borrowed a book from the library called 52 by Adler, who is a well known photographer in the fashion industry. The book is more of a journal type piece of work detailing Adler challenging herself to photograph something unique once a week, hence the title 52. I really enjoyed the book and particularly remember enjoying discovering different artists that Adler was inspired by, most prominent in my mind being Henry Cartier Bresson. This fierce Frenchie is known as the father of photojournalism and he was well known for shooting solely with a 50mm lens! Gah, I’m dying. I only own two lenses for my DSLR. One being a 50mm 1.8 and the other being a zoom lens 70-300mm. I have used the zoom lens on probably 2-5 occasions. Which is French for I only shoot with my prime lens. No shame! I love my prime lens! I  just love finding out that someone widely acclaimed and successful as Bresson did what I am doing. Or rather, I am doing what he did.

Adler’s quote is very encouraging. I myself have said that inspiration comes in waves so you better learn how to surf but alas, inspiration is only one facet in the creative process. Taking my analogy further would be to say that if inspiration comes in waves then I better learn how to produce waves. Or at the least have ways to create them in my repertoire. Therefore, I am learning what makes me forget everything except creating great work and filling energized by it. I remember this feeling strikingly when I was shooting at the dance studio so it is a matter of figuring out exactly what was so great about that and reproducing it.

Creatively fierce,

alexandria

Lenlie Dunn Photoshoot

What do you get when you take a blue eyed, brown haired beauty in a floral skirt and bright pink Hunter rain boots on a rainy day? Simply gorgeousness. This is one of those posts where we just let the pictures do the talking…

Super fierce expression over here!

Seriously, Lenlie, your beauty is stunning.

Your happiness shines here! I love it.

I loved shooting you, Lenlie! I know we were standing outside, like, what should we do? Haha! BUT even though we were unsure of what we were doing at first we got in our groove and just look at how great the shots turned out! Fierce photos, alexandria

Having All the Fun

All I want to dooo (Sing in the tune of Sugarland’s song) oo oo oo oo Ooo ooo oo oo oo oo is take beautiful photos! Perhaps it is because the culture we live in is so addicted to the idea of celebrity we have bought into the idea that only the people in front of the camera (models, actors, musicians) are having all the fun when in reality, I think it is the people holding the camera that have the most fun.

Have you ever noticed how in movies that the person who filmed it is not always the same person that directed the film? Have you ever noticed how much better a movie is when the director filmed it? One of the best parts about photography is that I capture the moment(hopefully) and when needed direct it. I do not think it is a coincidence that so many actors in Hollywood turn into directors or producers. It is more fun. Besides, they have probably been bossed around by directors their entire career that they want to turn the tables.

Having all the fun, fiercely,

alexandria

This is What You Were Born For

Have you ever felt like you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing in life? I have been reflecting on my experience second shooting throughout the past week. Collectively, I worked for about 20 hours. I am thinking that I shot for at least half of that, perhaps even three-fourths of the time. It was amazing. As I said in an earlier post it was an adrenaline rush. In light of that experience, I have been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up and I always go back to the fact that when I was a kid I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to sing and be a musician but I would never actually say I wanted to be a singer or musician; I always said I wanted to be a performer. In hindsight, I find my choice of words interesting. It is as if I knew, unbeknownst to me at the time, that I did not truly want to be a singer, all I really wanted was a stage. I adore performing. I have always loved the stage and looking back this past week I know I have found the stage I have been looking for; the photographer I was shooting for even says that being a photographer is performing. That’s ironic and incredible.

I love feeling alive. I love feeling intelligent, productive, and creative. Pursuing photography makes me feel all of that. Being a photographer makes me feel all of that. I really think that doing photography is what I was born to do. Have you ever felt this? The only other time I have felt like “this is what I was born to do” was when I was giving my daughter a bath, she was 2 or 3 months at the time and I felt so happy about my baby, I remember thinking specifically “this is what I was made to do” which is different from “born to do.” That was a different feeling though because it was calming and relaxing.  It was from a place of contentment whereas I would say my passion for photography is from a place of ambition. Motherhood has never challenged me. I love being a mom but I feel like it’s normal for moms to be freaked out, self-conscious, and unsure of what they’re doing. I’ve never felt that way. I have felt tired from being a mom but never like this is pushing  me past my limits or out of my comfort zone. Photography pushes me. Being a mom feels like a big hug around my heart whereas photography feels like an adrenaline shot to the heart! I’m addicted to learning and I love learning about photography and I especially love learning that I have found what I was born to do. How fierce is that?

Fiercely,

alexandria

Adrenaline Rush

This past week has been crazy. I’ve worked like a mad person. I helped a fellow photographer shoot an entire dance studio! Which works out to about 800 dancers. I planned to have a Degas moment but photography style. Hehe. It was crazy fun and exhausting. The photographer let me shoot a bunch and there was one evening when I was shooting that I was enjoying it so much I felt so energized and it wasn’t until I stopped shooting that I realized that shooting gave me an adrenaline rush. It was so exciting because the dancers were doing crazy awesome poses. Think jumps, leg kicks, and other cool stuff like that. It was fierce to say the least! And did I mention exhausting? Finally, I have gotten to get some rest and this evening I shot for myself and did some stuff that I have mentally envisioned for while now. Be fierce.

Glass and good lighting makes me happy

I followed a lady bug up my hourglass =D

 

Be creative. I have been feeling very artistic lately because it is art festival season in my city. Happiness.

Be Fierce,

alexandria

Quote Day

“Let the beauty we love be what we do.” ~ Rumi

Awww, this is lovely! This is beautiful. This is so inspirational. Let the beauty we love be what we do. Ahh, yes I completely agree. Is what you find beautiful what you do? Are you doing what you love? I found this quote on a calendar and fell in love. In case you don’t know Rumi was a Persian poet and Islamic scholar in the 13th century. He is buried in Turkey. He believed that music, poetry and dance were ways to reach God. I love his quote that I found and find it very encouraging to pursue photography and my other endeavors.

Working on owning my employment.

Be fierce,

Alexandria

Learn to Surf

Don’t you just love it when you feel empowered? You feel carefree, focused, energized and productive? You feel like your creativity is flowing, is making waves and all you can do is try to get what is in your mind out fast enough so that you don’t forget it! Welcome to the adrenaline that is inspiration. Years ago I wrote down in an old journal/planner something that has stuck with me and come back to me everytime I am in creating mode. I wrote down in the process of writing a song or something that inspiration comes in waves, so you better learn how to surf.

Inspiration comes in waves, so you better learn how to surf

Have you ever had a brilliant thought as you lay in bed about to go to sleep? You think to yourself, oh I should write this down but you’re half asleep and you don’t want to turn on the light and jot down whatever you’re thinking about because then you’ll be awake and you’re trying to sleep! You wake up in the morning thinking what was that great idea that I had last night? I can’t remember, oh well, I should’ve written it down. Well, that my friends, is inspiration. Sometimes it comes sporadically, sometimes it comes frequently. You have periods when it is constantly present or it makes a rare appearance. It comes in waves. Sometimes the waters are calm, sometimes there’s a hurricane and you better take cover ( and by take cover, I mean write down everything you think of!). Inspiration comes in waves, maybe small or maybe large but if you want to capitalize on your moment of inspiration, learn to surf.

Surfing is FIERCE,

alexandria 

Shakespeare Time

What’s a blog without a little Shakespeare every now and then? As the title indicates it is definitely time for Shakespeare. Perhaps it’s the fact that we are getting toward the end of the school year and there’s always a school doing their rendition of one of the famous playwright’s plays or the fact that we have a theatre group called Shakespeare in the Park in my city modeled after the famous event by the same name in New York City. Regardless of the reason I definitely think we can all use a little Shakespeare boost so naturally I go to A Midsummer Night’s Dream when Helena says of Hermia…

Though she be but little,she is FIERCE.

Ahh! I just adore this quote! I mean it’s Shakespeare which is fierce. It has the word fierce in it!(Family guy moment) Shakespeare was living fierce long before I came along. I love kindred spirits(bonus points if you got that reference.). I don’t identify myself as a feminist because of what feminism means today but I’m pretty sure that I would say that I am a classical (more on that in another post) feminist and this quote in my mind is definitely saying (Excuse my French) that girls are badasses. We rock. We are FIERCE. in context, “little” may refer to size but I think generally speaking all women are little. But even though that may be true, despite our size compared to men we are FIERCE. We can definitely raise some hell.

Ironically, I am writing this blog post while listening to the radio and an ad just came on that mentioned you guess it! Shakespeare! Ahh, I’m having an inspiration moment. More on that in the next blog post! I love it when you can feel the creative juices running through your body.

Though I may be but little, I am fierce <— might be my new mantra!

alexandria, Queen Fierce